


The Devil and the Hare

by MoonLita26



Category: Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, Minor Violence, Video Game Mechanics, hermitcraft season 7, yhs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27976158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonLita26/pseuds/MoonLita26
Summary: Evil Xisuma would have his revenge, whatever means necessary. And if those means lead to a strange guy with a bunny obsession, well, every great man needs a foil, right?Besides, a vendetta can't wait forever and those demands set by probable demigods pose a bigger threat anyway...
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	1. Prologue 1 - First Impressions

Evil X had seen well over a hundred different worlds in the past week but nothing could have prepared him for a single unassuming town in a supposed-to-be-dead server. 

It all started from the moment he joined. Evil X had landed on a rooftop and avoided toppling down a three-story building by falling atop a misplaced balcony. But the universe had always had it out for him, so of course half of it would be covered in _glass shards_. 

Bleeding and demoralized, Evil X was ready to throw in the towel and go to search in the next world over when a knife came flying straight at him, grazing his helmet’s visor in the most annoying way possible. A shout accompanied the flying utensil. 

“Get lost, yakuza scum!” a young man inside the room next to Evil X's screamed, though the sound was... gentle? He was also wearing a bunny hoodie. Evil X was not going to be upstaged by a brat in a _bunny hoodie_ of all things. 

“I don’t know what yakuza means, but show me the door and I will leave.” So maybe he was erring on the cautious side; things like a side full of glass tended to impede his intimidation factor. 

The man blinked twice and smiled, demure and soft. A shiver ran down Evil X’s spine. Something was off about the knife thrower, whether it be the contrast between weapons and gentleness or something _else_. 

“Come in then, we can have tea and Tauritos.” The man gestured Evil X inside and he, still bleeding and in desperate need for a good meal, followed, getting a better look at his new host. 

The man was a mess of contradictions, though that wasn’t anything surprising. He was wearing a bunny hoodie under a beige suit, had a crow’s nest of hair with his formal attire and carried himself like some kid next door despite the crusted _blood_ on his soles. The house didn’t characterize the chestnut curls and rose red eyes well either – broken furniture and strange stains littered the place in abundance. 

To say Evil X was unnerved was a _vast_ understatement. 

A flight of stairs later, both men were sitting at a quaint kitchen table in front of two steaming cups of green tea, with a bowl of suspicious looking crisps sitting between them. Evil X would not be touching either item offered with an eight-hundred-foot pole. 

The other man, meanwhile, was as serene as the sky on a clear winter day, unaffected by an armoured stranger crashing on his balcony. He took a sip of his tea and asked, “So, if you aren’t from the yakuza, which – no hat, I believe you, who are you and why are you here?” 

Evil X weighed his options. Either could keep it vague and risk getting stabbed or get, at the very least, a sympathetic ear for his never fulfilled plans. The man seemed like he’d be on board with a revenge plot. 

“Evil Xisuma. I’m searching different worlds for a way to get unbanned from my counterpart's server and get revenge.” 

The man’s expression shifted, showing a tinge of interest. “Oh, I might have a way to help.” 

Evil X grinned under his mask. Lady Luck had made an unexpected appearance and he wouldn’t squander the chance now. 

“Alright, bunny, tell me.” 

The man laughed. “My name’s not bunny, it’s Sam.” His look sharpened when he continued, “I will tell you if you answer my questions, alright?” 

Evil X went over every terrible outcome and figured it didn’t matter. Bunny boy didn’t seem like the brightest torch in the circuit (throw knives first, ask questions later), so a slip up wouldn’t cost much in the long run. “Go ahead.” 

Sam set down his tea and sighed. “Two of my friends abandoned me, leaving the server and not even telling where they went. I’ve been trying to find them but this town is... special to me.” Evil X didn’t miss the glint in his eye. 

“Have you heard of Taurtis or Grian?” 

One sounded familiar... “I’ve heard one of those names around Hermitcraft. A shame I got banned, I could’ve told you more.” 

Sam’s face lit up and Evil X smirked. Bunny boy was enthralled – all according to plan. 

He leaned closer. “Now you hold up your end of the agreement,” he said, summoning what remained of his intimidation. 

“Ah, that’s easy, actually,” Sam said, “These people, at least I think they’re people, came looking for one of them some time ago. Watchers, I think?” 

“Who cares about the name, anyway. They’re more powerful than even admins and left a nice portal to find them in case Grian ever came to visit...” his eyes assumed a faraway look. Nostalgia, really? 

Evil X stood in one sharp moment. He’d had enough of the stranger’s waffling and was ready to bolt from the backwards scenario he’d trapped himself in. 

Sam didn’t share the sentiment. “Where are you going?” 

The genuine confusion in his face baffled Evil X. That moron had told him everything he needed to know. Unless Evil X was bleeding out or something else as grievous, there would be no reason... _oh_. 

He shouldn’t have stood up. 

That’s when Evil X blacked out, cursing the universe and all that came with it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, the Watchers will be taking a back seat, at least for now.
> 
> I'm trying to get the characterization on point, so if you see any glaring mistakes, please tell me. Same goes for punctuation.
> 
> Otherwise, enjoy the ride and wait for tonal whiplash to set in!


	2. Prologue 2 - The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evil Xisuma confronts the scope of his mistakes.

Evil X’s next morning was better than the previous day by a margin of _not enough_. From waking up in pain and realising Sam had no idea what a health potion even was, to being fed over-flavoured snacks instead of a decent meal, every event so far had shattered any positive expectation he might’ve had. 

When he did muster up the willpower to take more than three steps without kissing the floor, Evil X’s first action was to demand Sam take him to those ‘Watchers’. This was another failure, but at this point he’d had enough. 

“And why can’t we leave this dumpster you call a house?” 

Sam’s eyes were locked on the floor but Evil X doubted his guilt, even if the voice matched up. “I got into another fight with the yakuza... was it two days ago? I can’t leave the house; they’ll kill me.” 

An answer that begs another question, a classic. “You do know you can just respawn, right?” 

“What’s a ‘respawn’?” 

As it so happened to be, his new associate had the same amount of knowledge about the universal mechanics as the four bricks walls surrounding him. Terms like respawning, coordinates and _crafting_ were uncharted territory for Sam. More wasted hours piled up as Evil X led him through the basics of the universe they lived in. 

It was only after sunset and an entire room’s worth of wooden floor being excavated, that they were digging a tunnel towards the supposed ‘portal cave’ or however Sam had called it. Because the world had it out for Evil X, beginning to end, the server was a hardcore one, so a mad dash to the finish would bring more harm than good. His armour had proven itself to be useless against some broken glass, there was not risking it. 

“It’s kind of dark, should I get my phone?” And the headache spoke again. 

Evil X was about to snap back, but stopped when the ‘phone’ part sank it. What was that? 

Sam’s question had been asked without expecting an answer, as he pushed Evil X to the side. The audacity wouldn’t have been excused if it weren’t for the blinding light that filled their shoddy tunnel seconds later. 

Thanking the first thing to go right in the past day and a half, Evil X continued digging, him and Sam inching closer to the cave, block by block. 

His shovel broke when they reached their destination. Evil X had been hacking away at the layers of soil for so long he’d only noticed the obsidian when his wooden tool gave in. Sam found it so hilarious he'd been hit on the head by a wayward shovel handle. 

Sam made it up by digging around the clumps of obsidian. Evil X couldn’t see it as anything other than a batch of red flags. What purpose did they serve? Aesthetics? He didn’t think anyone with the powers Sam described would bother with beauty when they could be reducing entire worlds to ash. 

His musings were interrupted when Sam, the pinnacle of pathetic failure in Evil X’s eyes (his counterpart had banned him, in the end), tumbled down into an opening ahead, taking the light with him. Or was it the soft shine of glowstone creeping in from the crevice? 

Evil X jumped in after the bunny and came so close to tripping himself. 

The room wasn’t large but it was spacious. Veins of obsidian weaved through the ‘walls’, hiding bits of glowstone from view. They drew together to a single space on the wall – a small portal, encircled by a strange symbol made of bedrock. 

Evil X had no more doubts. The Watchers were his ticket back to that godforsaken server. 

Grinning like the maniac he always aspired to be, Evil X drew nearer, steps slow and steady. He stopped at the very edge, entranced by the purple swirls in front of him. A feeling of accomplishment flowed through him as he reached out into magic. 

Evil X crossed threshold without looking back. He never had before and wouldn't start now. 

Revenge, here comes Evil Xisuma. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to make this the lower limit when it comes to chapter lenght but only time will tell.


	3. Prologue 3 - The Watcher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evil Xisuma meets a Watcher.

It was an obsidian paradise, floor to ceiling. Illuminated by obscene amounts of glowstone, the hall Evil X had found himself in was still too dark to access to the fullest. He could identify obsidian and what looked like a peculiar variation of blackstone but nothing else. 

Though he wasn't sure there was meant to be anything else. 

The longer he stood, the less he could focus on the room itself. It was _cold_. Not even water in the ice spike biome invoked such a feeling of pure frost. Time to move. 

Evil X strode over to the wall, hoping to find an exit. The room disgusted him with its grandeur. Did it need to be this large and creepy and, no, he was _not_ jealous. 

A loud grunt caused him to pause and shift attention back to the 'entrance'. While Evil X had expected bunny boy to follow him, he had also hoped for at least a sliver of competence, not a faceplant the moment they left familiar territory. 

“Woah... I never really went in before. This is amazing,” Sam said after lifting up his head. His eyes had acquired a shine of childlike wonder and Evil X had to remind himself not to laugh at the other's inexperience. He was going to save it for when Sam made touchdown in the server. 

Evil X turned back to surveying the walls but didn't gain too much from it. The room was an obsidian dome with a portal in the middle - nothing more, nothing less. Sure, the branching blackstone patterns were a sight to behold but that wasn't going to help Evil X find the owners. 

Thinking about a solution was hard, however, as the cold still seeped through his armor and aggravated his wounds and- did it get even chillier? 

“Rabbit, a pleasure to meet you again.” 

Evil X was quick to react and saw the silhouette before it finished speaking. It looked at _him_ in turn. 

“I see, you have brought with you a new friend.” 

They were wearing a large dark cloak, indistinguishable between deep purple and pure black. A large hood was up, obscuring their hair, if they had any. A blindfold of the same fabric covered their eyes, but the most noticeable feature were the _wings_. 

Large, feathery wings sat, folded on their back. They looked similar to an elytra but something was different. Evil X wasn't going to bother analyzing it; he had a demand to be fulfilled. 

Everything up until now had been an attempt at asserting power. No one with real power needed to show off. Evil X would be given what he wants, no matter how much his instincts screamed against it. 

Maybe his attempts to challenge fate were why it never skewed in his favor. 

“Alright, you'll unban me from Xisumavoid's server, Hermitcraft. Is that clear?” 

The Watcher hadn't looked threatening. The pools of dark fabric made them melt in with the floor, dragged their height down. Their blindfold screamed of hindrance and their wings resembled a bird to be cooked, not a demigod. 

But then they spread the feathers, shadowing Evil X in his entirety. Now the air did drop in temperature, he was sure. 

Or maybe it was their voice, sharper than diamond. “You rest so sure in your hubris, just what do you await from this?” 

Evil X didn't have to grin underneath his mask but he summoned up a shaky attempt anyway. The creep wanted a fight, they would _get_ one. 

“Wait, wait, wait!” Sam stammered through his words, panic lacing both his voice and eyes. “I'm sure he didn't mean that. I'm sure we can like, talk this through and you won't have to kill us or something. I'm-” 

Evil X tuned out the rest of his rambling and straightened his posture, wincing under the red visor. He would push through it and get his reward. All the Watcher had to do was back off. 

Which they did. 

Two wings folded back onto their back with a disturbing elegance and their mouth belied the faintest shadow of a smile. 

“Spite like yours is a thing to behold, refusing to neither bend nor fold.” It could've been his imagination but was that wistfulness he heard? 

“But nothing comes without a cost, something of yours must now be lost.” There's the consequence. 

They walked to the portal, Sam, that traitor, giving them way. They tapped against it twice and it shifted. Evil X couldn't describe how, but the patterns had changed and yet stayed the same. Weird. 

“You'll learn a lesson in humility, only then can you ask for help from me.” 

Then the Watcher vanished. 

Because they needed to show off even more, right? Evil X didn't hesitate in stomping over to the portal. 

Sam, the scared little rabbit that had gotten him into that mess in the first place, attempted to hinder him. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” 

“Do whatever you want to, I am getting out of here!” He gestured at the walls stretching upwards, towering over them both. “I, for one, don't see a door out.” 

Sam's expression fell and he averted his eyes. Evil X didn't bother to make out the mumbling and hopped in. 

He didn't have time for more distractions like this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you enjoying the rhymes?


	4. Neighbours 1 - Sides of a Coin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evil Xisuma forgets, then remembers why he brought Sam along in the first place.

Lightning was gorgeous in a way most people didn't find as beautiful as he did. It was powerful, destructive and left a warpath of mayhem wherever he went. It was there when nothing else was. 

Staring up at a bright and sunny sky, Evil X felt empty without it. 

The Watcher hadn't been lying about taking something of his. Any powers he'd had before, whether it was simple flying or bringing down a crown of lightning whenever he stepped, were gone. 

Upon discovering this fact, he screamed at the ocean surrounding him for a solid thirty minutes while Sam patted his shoulder now and again, rambling on about subjects Evil X hadn't considered it was possible to care about. It was a horrid ordeal and he would sooner drink floral tea before repeating it again. 

It was after he'd calmed down that the scope of the water made itself known. It stretched out in every direction, leaving only slivers of terrain visible. If one didn't count the large structures littering the ocean, that is. Various builds so detailed and beautiful they were more than invitations for destruction littered the landscape, reminding Evil X of Hermitcraft. 

Anger welled up. Perhaps that was his biggest loss – the chance at revenge. 

“You know, I see a town from here,” Sam said, standing on the other side of their little island. This observation, like the rest of his suggestions, made Evil X question his past self more with each passing minute. 

“Or we could avoid another mess by going somewhere isolated and not bothering with your dumb ideas.” 

Between the mesa and desert, he chose to swim to the biome where trees would be at least a possible resource. Taking care to avoid the strange platform of grass and mycelium covered in eyesores, the duo traversed a wooden sort of 'village', though it was empty, much to Evil X's surprise. With all their friendship and whatnot, players tended to stick together in places like that. 

Hours passed as he and Sam made their way inland. Most of their stress evaporated once they had left the wooden town – there was no one left to hide from, only wayward drowned slumping their way from rivers and the occasional pond. Evil X was careful to pace himself, still scared of the Watcher's possible modifications, but Sam got tired an hour into their journey. All Evil X could do was offer the moron a piece of rotten flesh, which was denied with fervor. Lovely. 

They had to stop at the third major patch of green they encountered, as they couldn't see another one even from the very edge and trees were still planned to be the quintessential backbone of their new life. Evil X sighed, accepted Sam's whining for the time being and ordered him to help chop wood. 

A new level of _nightmare_ arose. 

“Don't leave a single log at the top! And where's the axe?” 

“Oh, I keep forgetting about that. And the axe broke. I think.” 

“You've chopped down 3 trees. How did it break?” 

“Those zombie things-” “Drowned.” “-drowned things kept sneaking up on me and I hit them.” 

“You can use a sword for that.” 

“Wait, we can make swords here? This is nice.” No. No, it wasn't. 

While Evil X was doing ninety-five percent of work and wondering how could someone be this stupid, night had crept up on the horizon. His calm and composed solution was to run screaming to a nearby hill and burying himself inside a hole. Sam was also there, though Evil X couldn't pinpoint the moment he'd stopped paying attention to bunny boy, so his survival would forever remain a mystery. A shame, if anything. 

“You say you’re evil, so an underground lair would be great for you,” Sam said while Evil X was looking through the pitiful assortment of items they had gathered during the day. Despite Evil X giving the man express orders to dig and stay quiet, his minion wouldn’t do either, instead getting on his nerves more than he already had been. 

Snapping his head up from the chest, Evil X made his stance clear. “I let you come along because I thought you’d be useful. You are not. Shut. _Up_.” 

Sam froze in place, his back against the stone wall, staring at Evil X. He was still as bedrock, with the pickaxe teetering on the edge of his hands. In any other case, Evil X would have chalked it up as a victory for the forces of terror… but his _eyes_. 

From rabbit to wolf, the deranged hunger Evil X had first seen at Sam’s house was swirling in his eyes, muted but dangerous. And on the face of a statue, illuminated by faint torchlight? Nightmare fuel, the kind Evil X himself dreamed of becoming. 

He took a step back. “Hey, calm down, I didn’t mean to-“ 

Sam laughed, light as air. The edge in his eyes evaporated, but a shadow remained. He gripped the pickaxe and turned back to the wall, continuing to carve out the duo's growing space. 

During daylight, Evil X had met the world’s worst hindrance. At night, he had seen creeping horror given form. 

Sifting through a mess of rotten flesh, Evil X was left with confusion, a mild sense of fear and _many_ regrets. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here comes the tonal inconsistency.


	5. Neighbours 2 - Takes Two to Tango

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evil Xisuma finds familiarity in an unexpected guest.

The following week was odd in its normalcy. Evil X worked on his underground lair, getting sidetracked by the promise of diamonds only twice per day, while Sam tended to the parody of a wheat farm set up in front of the entrance. Most obstacles stemmed from their combined inexperience with legitimate survival – Evil X had relied on his extraordinary powers and Sam had lived in a stagnant world of economy and prebuilt houses. As a result, their combined knowledge was not enough to kill a creeper without blowing a hole in their food supply. 

Not to say there were no successes. Evil X had procured a full set of iron armor and a diamond sword and still had resources to spare, despite Sam's nagging for an iron hoe. He ended up getting an iron sword instead and that shut him up fast, perhaps _too_ fast. While creepers still posed an issue, most mobs were obliterated on sight. Evil X used this strange talent as a shield against the mountain of regrets that had piled up during Sam's stay at the server. 

Speaking of which, he didn't have a clue where the Watcher had sent them until six days into their knockoff adventure. The news came with wings and overblown joy. 

“We have a visitor!” Those were not words that would incite panic is Evil X in normal circumstances but normal had been kicked into the next dimension over for a while now. 

He rushed to the front door, sword in hand and threw it open with more force than necessary. What greeted him was a peculiar twist to a familiar scene. 

Two eyes, concentrated drops of red, stared right at him with mild surprise. A Santa hat framed tousled blond hair, the rest of the clothing following suit in its reds and greens. The one thing that threw Evil X off was the addition of bunny slippers, but everything else – well, he'd seen Tango around Hermitcraft more than once. 

“Evil Xisuma?” Tango asked, more careful than Evil X ever remembered him being. “Weren't you... banned from the server or something?” 

He couldn't help but grin. “So, this is Hermitcraft? It seems like someone didn't know what they were doing.” Evil Xisuma – one, oversized purple chicken – zero. 

Tango quirked an eyebrow at this, giving Evil X enough time to sheathe his sword and straighten his posture. His confidence was back and ready to smite any opponent with vengeance. 

Sam was first to volunteer by saying, “Hey, don't be mean, he came all this way to give us a gift. Tango is a nice person, so we should be nice to him.” 

“Evil is my first name. Literally.” Putting Sam's newest stupidity aside, Evil X faced Tango again. “How did you find us anyway? This is the middle of nowhere.” 

Tango smiled. How disgusting. “Rendog said he saw two new hermits while flying over the mesa. I thought I could spread some holiday cheer here as well!” 

“Then get lost. We don't need you around.” Evil X needed to set boundaries quick. There would not be another Sam situation. 

Tango looked affronted to a comical degree but the mischievous smile remained. “I come out all this way and you tell me to leave. I guess I will if I have to.” He turned, tilting his head to Sam's side, and spread his elytra. “Merry Christmas to you both!” 

Tango took off, trailing sparks from a firework rocket. As Sam, the eternal traitor, waved at the receding figure, Evil X was reminded of the sickening positivity that made him despise Hermitcraft and its residents in the first place. 

Right, Hermitcraft – the elephant in the room. 

“Seems like the Watcher was kind of sloppy.” 

Sam descended into another ramble with no prompting yet again. “I think it's ironic, but in a good way. They granted your wish, but with a twist. I think there's an expression about that; was it the tortoise leg or something?” 

It was the Monkey's Paw, and applicable to their current situation only by making leaps in logic worthy of an elytra user. 

“Sam, did you tell him your name?” 

“I don't think so. I called you as soon as he showed up.” 

“So, you finally stayed quiet.” 

“I can stop talking if I have to! Why don't you believe me...” 

“Now I do. Just _keep_ doing that.” 

“Alright, I'll prove to you that I can shut up and all yo-” 

The door shut with a loud slam. For Evil X, it was back to stockpiling valuables and ignoring Sam. All according to plan, of which the first step had now been completed. 

He was back, and Hermitcraft wouldn't know what hit them. Provided that the Christmas demon wouldn't go straight to the rumor mill. In the friendliest server this side of the universe. Which his goody two-shoes counterpart was a part of. 

Why did life have to be so hard? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, part 1!


	6. Neighbours 3 - Two Lies and a Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evil Xisuma learns more about his roommate.

Despite the amazing revelation of him reaching Hermitcraft, the following morning was not kind towards Evil X. And, to nobody’s surprise, it was Sam’s fault, though not for the usual reasons. 

“What is _that_?” 

A large clump of oak trees stood in the middle of the evil lair, stuffing the room full of leaves nobody ever wanted or needed. Except for Sam, maybe. Who still hadn’t responded. 

Evil X clawed his way out of the mess over to their temporary chest area and discovered the next inconvenience to conquer them all – every chest was covered with a different block of increasing stupidity in colour choice; no tool could be effective for mining more than two at a time. 

“Sam, get over here right now and explain yourself!” Evil X tolerated inconveniences. He _destroyed_ obstacles. 

The creeks of a door opening and closing in rapid succession reached his ears, even if muffled by rows of plant life. A dampened shout made also its way down. “Hold on, the door is a bit blocked.” No kidding. 

Evil X rummaged through the chests again, cursing out Sam for using their entire iron reserve. He would not acknowledge that his set of armour had eaten up more than Sam’s sword, as he was not a quitter, least of all in the face of the menace known as bunny boy. 

He did find two ingots to make a pair of shears, but Sam had found his way through the jungle by then and Evil X did not waste precious monologue time. 

The villain took in a deep breath and began. “What is this and why is it here? The entire lair is overrun by whatever this is and- Why are you smiling?” 

“It's Christmas! How can you not be happy?” Sam asked in return. 

“I'm a villain. I am against happiness and anything that creates it.” The notion that he had to explain this was enough to give Evil X an aneurysm. 

“Why?” 

It was the first time Evil X had been asked that question. He would make it the last. 

“Because brings me joy, happiness, whatever else those hermits like.” 

The villain took a step closer to Sam, a glint or mockery in his eyes. “I love the power, the feeling of accomplishment that comes from knowing I brought something so valuable to dust. The destruction? It's all me; _I_ did it.” 

“But you can certainly relate. It takes some villainy to attack someone on sight with a knife to the head.” Evil X shoved a pair of shears into the other's hands. His smile mirrored the sharpness of their edges. 

In contrast, Sam's expression was clouded, unsure and yet... sad. “I didn't choose this.” 

This drew Evil X's attention more than he would've liked to admit. After days of bland annoyance bordering on hatred, the first strings of intrigue peeked through and Evil X couldn't resist. 

He kept quiet. 

Sam stood, holding the dull tool close. 

He shook his head and spoke. 

“It was her fault. She was with the mafia; she dragged us down with her.” His airy, distant laugh punctuated a pause. “I didn't see how terrible Yuki was until we were all begging for our lives. Guess that's what love does to you.” 

Love. Oh, but of course it was _love_. 

Evil X couldn't help himself. “So, an ex-girlfriend ruined your life?” His laughter wasn't audible but there was no missing the light tone of Evil X's voice. 

Sam managed to, though. The glint in his eyes was laser focused when his hand hovered over Evil X's shoulder, a strange attempt at persuasion. 

"Yes. She did. It was _her_.” 

It wasn't her, was it? 

Evil X turned his back on Sam. His smirk wavered but Sam did not need to know that. “We should clear out these leaves.” 

And so, they did. 

Clump after clump of Christmas decorations fell into a pile next to their front door. Close enough not to be hassle but far enough not to light their burrow on fire. It was a quiet and uncomfortable ordeal, though Evil X was unsure if Sam felt the same. 

His confusion cleared up when he lit the pile aflame. Sam hummed Christmas carols, oblivious to the world around them, while Evil X stared at the bonfire in silence. 

Sam's testimony was an incomplete tale of half-truths, pure and simple. It shouldn't have been anything more. 

Yet why did Evil X's mouth taste the same bitter flavour of lies when recalling his own? He chose not to dwell on the conundrum – there hadn't been a need for self-reflection before, so none existed now. 

Evil X closed his eyes and let Sam's crooked singing fill his ears, banishing any doubts he might've had. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, part 2!


	7. Neighbours 4 - First Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evil X sets out on a journey.

“We're not visiting _anyone_.” 

The bunny ears on Sam's hoodie appeared to droop, though Evil X blamed the last remains of basalt ash muddling his vision. 

Sam didn't stop where most would, either – he was pouting. Like a child. But of course. 

“We aren't prepared for a fight, not with your skills,” Evil X said. The statement was in stark contrast with the pair of wither skulls he held, but the assurance that Sam had been chasing rabbits in the overworld during his trip was enough. 

Sam, displaying his usual persistence of a ridiculous degree, didn't cave. “We don't have to fight. Tango was nice, he even gave us those fireworks as a gift. Why would he attack us?” 

Evil X's hand halted. Sam was correct – the Christmas demon had showed nothing but good will toward them, even supplying them for no apparent reason. Evil X was, much as he hated to admit it, paranoid of his doppelganger, but Xisuma hadn't visited once since the visit, leading to the deduction that Tango had kept quiet. 

It was a venture with no risk, but potential reward. “You know what? Let's go.” 

It took one step outside for his enthusiasm to collapse into overwhelming regret. They had no idea where Tango lived, let alone how to reach that mystical land. 

Yet, against all odds, Sam offered his second useful act of the day and reminded Evil X about the wooden ghost town they'd seen on their first day on the server. While he had reservations about revealing themselves to another possible annoyance or perhaps even threat, the style differed from Xisuma's too much for Evil X not to relax on default. Besides, more free stuff? No complaints there. 

“Hello!” Sam looped through the wooden pillars looming over the silent village. “Anyone here? We want to talk to you.” 

Evil X considered speaking up, as it was unlikely for any who don't consider themselves idiots to interact with Sam in the first place, but a sharp shadow darting over them both caused a diversion. It had vanished before Evil X could see, though it didn't take long to identify the culprit, as they soon descended from a nearby staircase to meet them. 

A man with sunglasses and cat ears sauntered towards them with a relaxed confidence and Evil X recognized the rest of the man's peculiar attire as Ren's calling card. His mouth perked up in a smile – Ren was the opposite of possible danger. 

The man spoke with his usual tone of complete obliviousness. “Greetings, Evil Xisuma. I don't think I've seen you in a while, though if you've been visiting me here, it's no wonder we haven't met yet – I moved bases ages ago. And speaking of new, who's your friend over there?” 

A smile appeared on Sam's face at the question, crooked and awkward as it may be. “Sam. It's nice to meet you.” He stretched forward for a tepid handshake. 

“And that's not happening,” Evil X said, yanking Sam's arm down, “We came to ask where Tango's base is.” 

Ren quirked an eyebrow. “Dare I ask why?” 

“He gave us some fireworks, so we're coming over to scam him out of even more stuff.” 

Ren smiled at the admission; a trust had been secured. Evil X grinned at Sam to make sure the lesson reached him, though his partner had used up his usefulness reserves for the day and was still staring straight at Ren. Verdict? Disappointed but not surprised. 

“I was more worried about you burning everything we own, but you've been loitering around for a while now and I still haven't seen any major crimes, so I'll trust you on this.” 

Ren turned to the ocean, pointing at the vibrant island in the middle of it. “If you just cross the water, going straight ahead from here, you'll reach Toon Towers. That is where you'll find Tango.” 

“Toon Towers? That island looks like a cartoon already,” Sam said, a question present in his voice. 

Evil X scoffed. “Everything these idiots build looks like a children's show and Tango's the guy who goes out of his way to 'spread cheer'. It'll look even worse than that, I'm sure.” He dreaded the multicolor nightmare awaiting them. 

“Wait, you do know that's the shopping district, right?” Ren asked. 

Evil X's “No. We don't need a shopping district.” clashed against Sam's “Wait, you have an entire _district_ for shops? ” What a twist. 

Ren's kind smile hid his amusement but eyes are the mirrors of a soul and his gleamed with withheld laughter. “Take a few diamonds and head over if you ever want to. I guarantee you'll both find something worth your while.” 

Since Sam perked up at the suggestion, Evil had to weed it out at the root. “No. We're visiting Tango. There won't be any more distractions.” 

He grabbed Sam's arm and tugged him along to jump from the ledge into a sea of water. He shoved Sam into the boat he'd brought for the sake of not repeating their first day on the server, ignoring Ren's goodbye to the best of his abilities. 

Evil X had known the journey would be a major waste of time, and the universe had a habit of going above and beyond in proving him right. They weren't even halfway yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight warning - I don't watch every perspective.  
> I'll just put it here, while I haven't screwed up anything too important.


End file.
